BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH

My computer has had enough today. Like me.

Diagnosis: Sick and tired.

First hangover for months. I only had an Erdinger Fest, a Paulaner, a glass of red wine and two pints of piss Fosters. Wouldn’t it be good if Fosters was brewed at the London Tube stop Cockfosters? It would be decidedly appropriate, perhaps it could be pumped straight out of the urinals.

I have erected a full scale model of retired French tennis player Guy Forget. I have dressed him in tight white tennis shorts and am wheeling him around the office screeching:

"Penny for the Gee"

Everybody ignored me apart from one who gave me a full scale papier mache model of GMTV newsreader Penny Smith.

Pyromaniacs rejoice: Fire works.